Say It So It Lands
A live online workshop for anyone who is tired of starting a conversation with love and being heard like the villain.
Details:
Friday, November 20 · 6:00–7:30pm Eastern
Live on Zoom, 90 minutes
$35 (early bird $25 until November 13)
Does this sound familiar?
Maybe you have had the same conversation twenty times, and it ends the same way every single time. Raised voices, a door closing a little too hard, or two days of silence.
Maybe you bring up something small, the dishes, the trash, the phone at the table, and somehow you are suddenly fighting about everything from the last five years.
Maybe you hear "you're always nagging" or "here we go again," and inside you are thinking: I am not asking for much. Why does it come out like an attack?
Maybe you have stopped asking at all. You swallow what you need because asking never goes well anyway. And then one day it all comes out at once, bigger and louder than you ever meant it to.
Maybe you spend real energy picking the "right moment" to bring something up, and the right moment never seems to exist.
Maybe afterward you lie awake replaying the whole thing, wishing you had just said it differently.
It is probably not what you are asking for. It is how it lands.
Most of us were never taught the difference between a complaint and a request, and they can sound almost identical.
A complaint tells your partner who they are. A request tells your partner what you need. A complaint gets defended against. A request can actually be answered.
Complaint: "You never help me. I have to do everything around here myself."
Request: "When the kitchen is still a mess after dinner, I feel like I'm carrying it alone. I need us to share it. Would you load the dishwasher while I wipe the counters?"
The formula: What happened + What I need + The clear ask
Your partner is not necessarily refusing to give you what you need. Very often, they simply cannot hear it through the way it was said. That is a skill problem, not a love problem. And skills can be learned. You deserve to feel heard!
In this workshop, you will learn:
Why a reasonable request lands like an attack, and what your partner is actually hearing when you speak
The real difference between a complaint and a request, and how to spot which one just came out of your mouth
How to turn "you never" and "you always" into something your partner can actually say yes to
The four things that make a conversation go wrong before it even starts: tone, timing, absolute words, and bringing up ten hurts at once
A simple, kind way to ask for what you need, without swallowing it and without exploding
What to do when you say it right and it still lands wrong, and how to try again without it becoming round two
This workshop is for you if:
The same fight keeps finding you, no matter how small the thing that starts it
You feel like you are the only one who ever brings things up, and you are tired of being called the nag
You keep things in until they burst out of you, and you do not like that version of yourself either
You are not ready for therapy, or not sure it is for you, but you want real tools now
You do not need to bring your partner. Changing how you speak changes the conversation, even if you are the only one who shows up.
About your teacher
Hi! My name is Yana Kazekamp, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) providing telehealth therapy services across Massachusetts. I am so excited to present this workshop to you!
For the past 10 years, I have helped couples and individuals explore their past, understand their present, and shape their future. I am certified in Relational Life Therapy, and I specialize in relationship counseling and attachment trauma.
Every week in my therapy room, I teach couples the exact thing this workshop teaches: how to say the hard thing in a way your partner can actually take in. Most couples do not need to become different people. They need different words.
This is practice, not a lecture
You will not sit and listen for 90 minutes. We will do some work together.
Bring three real complaints from your own relationship, the ones you find yourself saying on repeat. Together, we will rewrite them, one by one, into requests your partner can actually hear. You will practice saying them out loud, get coached live, and leave with words you can use that same night.
Bring a notebook. Bring the conversation you keep having. I will walk you through it!
Why not wait?
On average, couples wait around six years before getting help with their relationship. Six years of the same fight is a very long time.
You can keep having this conversation the way you have been having it. Or you can spend one evening learning how to have it differently.
And honestly, the hardest conversations of the year are coming. The holidays bring family, money, in-laws, and old patterns, all at the same table. Wouldn't it be good to walk into December knowing how to say what you need so it actually lands?
Questions
Do I need to bring my partner?
No. Come on your own. One person changing how they speak changes the whole conversation.
Will I have to talk?
Sharing is invited, never required. You can practice in your notebook, keep your camera off, and still leave with the full skill. And if you do want live coaching on one of your rewrites, that door is open.
Is this therapy?
No. This is a workshop: teaching and guided practice, the same tools I teach in therapy, in a format anyone can join. It does not replace therapy, and joining does not make you my client.
What if I register and cannot make it live?
Registration is for the live session, so please make sure the date works for you before you save your spot.
I have another question.
Reach out through the contact page and ask. I am happy to help you figure out if this is the right fit.
Due to the nature of this online class, all sales are final and refunds are not available. By clicking the register now buttons, you acknowledge that you understand.